Getting Old

So while I know i am young and all this jazz as my parents and people older than me say... HOLY CRAP WHERE DID TIME GO?

Last night my best friend and i were eating dinner with my dad and stepmom and i made some comment like, "omg i am gonna be 25 here soon" and my dad and sm said " you're young wait til you get to 35 then the years really fly by!" what the hell?? time already does fly by. shoot yesterday i was 4 and i was Jem from Jem and the rockers for Halloween. Today I'm 24 and gonna be in some tiny costume i probably fit into when i was 4 as well. aye ya ya.

so last night it was about 11 and my friends and i are finishing up some martinis and i could have sworn it was like 2 am. i was like holy crap i am tired. then we looked at the time and WOWSERS it was early. i'm usually bouncing off the walls at that time during the week ( usually cus i just worked out a few hours before). SO my best friend and i came home and talked, tried on our costumes blah blah about 1 went to sleep and when did i wake up. 8 am!! i tried real hard to go back to bed but i cant. corporate life has kept me from sleeping in. granted its a beautiful day so i am ok with enjoying the sun come in my windows but goodness... i used to be "sleeping beauty"
So another conversation with the parentals came up last night and that was dressing up for Halloween and Michelle said that one of her friends has said " oh i'm too old to dress up" what kind of hogwash is that? i think i will dress up forever. obviously as i get older and have children the tiny costumes will switch to probably funny iconic costumes, but shoot dressing us for Halloween is like something i look forward too every year.

It makes me miss college actually. in college there would always be like 5 Halloween parties stretched between the weekend before and the weekend after halloween and i never liked wearing the same thing to a party so i would be 4-5 different things.... what a blast.

so my dad wants michelle and i to try and help the church carnival today, which we might, however costumes not included cus well its church and you should be covered up at church i believe, but.... they are working the cookie booth to help little kids decorate cookies. now typically i would be like oh heck ya i am gonna eat a load of cookies. when they told me they had 500 cookies i about puked. Stuff like that, that gave me so much joy as a kid and even a year or so ago make me sick... too sweet i cant handle it anymore. my response was " cant i just work the bouncy house and jump around in there and smack around some kids who are mean to the tiny kids. you know regulate?" my dad said, " well thats the singles dept to do that" and i said," well dad i'm single hello!" and he said, " well the director of that dept is old enough to be my mother so what does that tell you about the singles dept" haha OLD LADIES NEED LOVE TOO DAD.. and i'm right there behind her shoot.

lol i hope this plan to go on a trip when i turn 25 works out... right morgan? :)

Throwing Copper Airbrush Tan

So i got painted... completely painted.....

I subscribe to something called Houston Tidbits. Almost every day they email me about some cool new place to eat/shop/checkout/ etc. now some of the stuff is kinda of your typical thing a rich housewife would do or buy so i just kind of laugh. however they have cool parties and give out all kinds of free stuff. For instance my $75 leather flipflops i got for free for going to one of their cocktail parties... not bad

Tidbits has several cities they have info on (houston/austin/san antonio/ new orleans). you can check them out at http://gotidbits.com/

Well one day i got an email that this airbrush tan salon was having a party and if you went you would get a 50% off coupon. I'd been researching airbrush tan cus I wanted to get it done before my upcoming trip to Central America so i didnt look so completely white, so when i got this i was like heck ya! Well i couldnt make their party but they had a little note that if you couldnt make it to their party that if you mentioned the ad you got 20% off.

The place is a small little boutique that 2 best friends run. Its in a salon in Chealsea's Market. Their company is called Throwing Copper and its inside the Blue Mambo Salon. I read all about them on their website, their pricing, their solution, their reviews, preperation blah blah and i booked my appointment.

I decided i would do my trail run halloween weekend so my costume looked better and so i could know how it will look.

My appointment was at 8 last night and i was nervous cus it was raining and i knew after i got airbrushed i wouldnt be able to get wet. Fortunately the rain stopped in time for me to get there and to get home. although the girl who airbrushed me drove my car under the porch for me so i wouldnt have to run under the dripping tree... NOW THATS SERVICE HAHA

So i got there and we talked about why i wanted the tan etc and i figured she would do the lightest color on me. Negative. I was super anxious and paranoid and afraid i would look like am umpa lumpa and have to call in sick to work today. she told me it would really look as if i had just really gotten a good tan.

so i took her word for it and disrobed. I'm super modest and never really let anyone see me undressed. i mean my girlfriends or my mom or my aunt have seen me like down to my skivies when changing but i have never been comfortable baring it all unless its my doctor or something like that. Gosh my first waxing expereince i about died i felt so uncomfortable. I just did it and figured shoot she's probably seen it all no worries. i just tried not to think about it.

Well she sprays me all over and has me lift arms and legs in different ways to make sure its even, does my face, rubs down my fingernails and toe nails and pats me down with a powder in places that might get sticky ( knees, elbows, under arms etc). when she was done i stood in front of the mirror and was really suprised. i really liked it. i had a line from my thong that i could see the contrast and while it was definitely a huge contrast i wasnt orange or looking ridiculous.

Since i had 20% off i opted for a package to save me some money for my next time.

i got home and wouldnt let the dog come near my and i just sat on the floor and watched tv and kept getting up to look at it in the mirror. it was so weird. not used to seeing myself with a tan!!

i washed it off at about 130 this morning cus i had to let it soak in. looks great! i got to work today and the intern was like "wow you look tan"

i was like yeah i got painted and he was like " it looks really good"

if it didnt cost so much i would do it all the time. so if you want a good place to get airbrushed and avoid skin cancer check out http://www.throwingcopperhouston.com/

I'll try and post photos later...

Save the drama for yo mama

AYE! Why do some people thrive on making a big deal about EVERYTHING!!!!

I swear its like some people cant function or be happy unless they are freaking out on somebody or on something.

This week I noticed a mutual friend of a friend and I had listed as her status on facebook "just realized how much I can't stand hearing other people's opinions or advice when my heart and mind have already made their decision :/"

I sent it to our mutual friend saying man don't you hate when your friends come to you for advice and then complain to you about it because you tell them what they don't want to hear?

My friend got really upset. Apparently the two of them had a big talk about the situation and the comment " don't ask for my advice if you don't like what i have to say" came up so this status was like a big slap in the face.

Well little miss drama queen blew it out of proportion and wanted to know who said it why and then went and started to delete all their mutual friends on facebook ( me included haha)

Gosh its so retarded and fifth grade. I got an email from my friend apologizing for her doing this and i was like "dude i don't care i only accepted her request as a friend to be nice. i cant stand annoying dramatic people like that... i have no tolerance for that crap...

not the first time this girl has gotten all bajiggity about something retarded. even my friend said, " its like she has nothing better to do with her life than to start crap to give her something to do"

gosh i should blog about the time she got all crunk cus some guy she was totally infatuated with but wanted nothing to do with her flirted with me. i didn't even want the guy, i just talked to him cus we were at our friends bday party and i was being polite and she got all crazy on both of them... thats a whole other long story but who cares...

ugh. i think people like that thrive on drama cus then somehow they are receiving attention they wouldnt otherwise

Then whats with people who always want your advice when they did already make up their mind? don't ask for it if you don't want to hear the truth. its like you only want affirmation that you are doing the right thing and when you know you aren't you get pissed cus people tell you what you don't want to hear.

ok so that's my rant for the day. save the drama for you mama people. no one wants to hear it. life's too short to stress about crap you cant change....

Playdoh and body parts

So everyone and their grandma has played with playdoh at some parts in their life, shoot probably everyone has probably eaten playdoh out of curiousity sometime in their life...

My friend and i were talking the other day about how when we loose weight, we wish we could redistribute it where you want it so this was my thought.

How cool would it be if our skin, muscles, fat were like playdoh and what you didnt want you could just pinch off, roll it around, reshape it and stick it where you wanted in areas that needed some reinforment/enhancement...???

i think that would be amazing. granted i guess the terminology for this now is called plastic surgery but its too bad it just cant be our own tissue. And shoot if you feel you have too much in one area but dont want to stick it anywhere else you can put it back in the jar for another day or you can share your playdoh with someone else.

I think when i get to heaven i'm gonna ask God that and he's probably going to tell me something like this " Emily i did it so people like you would wonder and ask me this question and think about it, if your body was made of removable tissue what protection would you have from the elements, what sort of physics would playdoh provide that skin/muscle/fat etc do"

and i'll probably respond" well god you have a point but since you are capable of anything you could have made playdoh capabale of those things"

and then he'll probably say " always gotta come back with something huh. While this is true child i think that would be taking the easy road and the quick fix and if you had playdoh bodies like gumby you'd probably be thinking oh when i get to heaven i am gonna ask God why our bodies werent more rigid instead of mushy and moldy"

and then i'll probably say touche!

however, its a cool thought.

where the heck did dunk a roos go?

So if you are a child of the 80's or even the late 90's i'm sure you remember the oh so delicious Dunk a roo's. Graham cracker cookies with icing. I drool just thinking about them. While its probably been 10+ years since i had them. i can remember many elementary lunches getting every last bit of the freakin icing out of the tiny little cup.

My coworker who sits next to me and I were talking about the next happy hour our part of the office has to do and we suggested doing something to revisit our childhood. We made a list of things like pb and j sandwiches, fruit roll ups, little debbie snack cakes, gushers, capri suns, lunchables and several other iconic items from our childhood lunches. I of course mentioed Dunk-a-Roo's and the subject of WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GO? Came up.

I did a search and according to wikipedia they are a betty crocker product and still available in some Canadian and American stores. They mentioned Costco so i looked up the website and no dunk a roos at costco. i even searched Betty Crocker's website and didnt find it. The wiki article was from 2006 so a lot could have happened since then.

I went so far as to look on EBAY! when i found the image above there is some online grocery store that apparently has them. however, no telling how old the site is and it required authorization to be on the site and to purchase so i couldnt even play around.

Anybody seen some dunk a roo's????

I guess if i got desperate i could get icing and teddy grahams. the ironic part of the whole situation is if i had them i would probably eat one cookie and feel sick. I cant even eat junk food anymore without wanting to throw up. my body isnt used to it. So if we follow through with our happy hour idea it will be fun but I may not enjoy it as much as i think i will. The fun part is the planning part of it.

now they have these nabisco cookie sticks with icing which i bet are not the same. ugh!

Love Actually...Austin

So I spent the weekend up in Austin this weekend visiting a friend and we did alot, so many funny things happened ( as always) and I learned and realized a few things ( as always)

Instead of making this several different blogs I decided to keep them in one but just subtitle them. Read a part, or all I don't care, but who knows you might find it insightful and I guarantee a bit amusing.....

Austin: Why I went.....
One of my best friends has lived back and forth between Austin and San Antonio for years. I havent seen her since i moved back to Houston and well this weekend was very important to her. In addition to being the weekend before her 23rd birthday, it was the weekend of a charity run of someone very important to her :

You see my dear friend Morgan was somewhat interested/seeing this guy named Justin over the summer. Like we have all experienced, they had a great connection and somehow along the lines something just messed it up and it didnt work, however, she never stopped thinking about him.

Well a couple of months after they had last spoken, Justin was in a horrible accident. You see after leaving with some friends one night, he thought he would take a shortcut home and ended up falling into a creek 20 feet and knocking himself unconscious. His friends found him the next day laying there. He has been in and out of a coma ever since.

Morgan was in Hawaii the day it happened. One of his coworkers went to her work several times to tell her but of course she was gone for awhile. She found out shortly after she returned and it all made sense as to why the whole time she was in Hawaii she couldnt stop thinking about him.

Well Justin was a big time runner in Austin. He participated in many marathons and worked at the Runtex store in Austin. This weekend they had a big run for him and his family to help raise money for his treatment. To read more about his story and his progress go here

Morgan really wanted to participate and I told her if she really wanted to go i would come up and run the event with her...

What we did....
I got up to Austin Saturday afternoon and we immediately went and ate at my favorite place... Wahoo's Fish Taco. Now if you ever go to Austin I say GO! I was so surprised Morgan had never been. Its a total surfer/skater place and I LOVE IT. The vibe is totally what i'm into, laid back, fun, humorous even and of course in addition to the food being awesome... there are always good looking boys there... you know the ones my mom hates that i like. punky, likes to wear vans/chucks, has his own style, might have a mohawk,/shaggy/colored hair, might have a piercing/tattoo, and lives for adreneline. Yeah... those
So we had lunch at wahoos and had a really funny encounter which i'll put in the "funny stuff" section of this blog. Afterwards we walked all over Austin. We walked to Runtex and ran into one of Justin's coworkers who told Morgan about his condition and how he would take her to visit him if she wanted. The whole conversation was hard for her I could tell, but i think seeing him will make her feel better about the ordeal.
Afterwards we walked really far down south on congress and shopped in different stores and went in this costume store that was the most claustraphobic thing i had ever been in. Morgan laughed at me cus I said, " this may be my design background and my education speaking, but this place is SOO not up to code or handicap accessible!!!"
We lingered around there for a bit and a few other stores and walked back into town and went to the Belmont and enjoyed some martinis and appetizers. My first experience with St Germaine Liquor and it was nice. I forgot the name of the martini i had, but that was in it and it was delish!!
After that we went home to be lazy and to determine if we wanted to meet up with some other friends for a night out. We did the whole girl thing and gave ourselves pedicures and watched a movie. We watched Love Actually which is by far one of the cutest movies ever... I'll digress about that later..

We opted to stay in and just girl talked and passed out. We woke up early and made our way to runtex for the run. It was really awesome to see that many people out there for Justin. His family seemed really sweet. We did the run and this little boy that was probably 5 ran ahead of me the whole time. he would not let me pass. it was INSANE. i was like omg we have a future Olympian right here! Shoot!
After the run we headed to Austin Java and had some breakfast on the patio and then just walked all throughout downtown to the capitol and back. it was such a beautiful day we decided to enjoy it. after that we just chilled at the apartment before i headed home.

Funny stuff...
OH MY. it started as soon as i got there. we went to wahoo's and as we are ordering the two boys behind the counter already try to kind of flirt with us and the only thing Morgan and I know how to do is laugh. So we sit down and order and one of them comes over with my tacos and is like " oh man where's your chips and guacamole?" I was like " i dunno you havent brought them" so then he is like " well do you still want them?" " umm yes please"
So he stands there and just stares with this glazed look on his face. Omg this kid was either so drunk or high i dunno but morgan and i just laughed so hard.

So he comes back later and is like " so how did you like it?" and morgan says " this is a fine establishment i plan to be back"
and somehow i thought i heard her ask if there was a shower in the back and i said that and the guy is like " yeah dude we got a shower?"
so i joked and said that morgan was moving in. so he stands there and says a few weird things and morgan just laughes at him and then she says " do you ever blink?" and he just stands there and looks at us and is like " uhh yeah" and he keeps staring at us. omg we laughed so hard. so he walks off and when we left he waved and yelled something. it was funny.

So then as we are walking through Austin we pass where she works and there is a group of like 20 guys out front posing for this picture. Coincedently morgan was wearing the same thing they were. A white shirt and jeans. So we walk by and you hear these boys "damn" " hey girl hey" and god knows what else and so one waves at us and i waved back just being stupid. Well morgan yells " hey nice outfit" and they started laughing and all 20 boys run over to us and are like " hey we are pledges for this fraternity and we are doing a scavenger hunt and all we need now is a picture of 2 girls making out"
so we laughed and we were like no, can we fake kiss or something and morgan is like " guys i work right here no way!!!" so one guy tells her " you kiss her cheek and i'll kiss you..." i was like "oh snap that sounds like a proposition" Unfortunately for those young college freshmen boys we kept walking... hahaha

several other funny things happened, but those were the most funny

Love Actually...

This movie was so super cute. Guys too would love it. its really really funny. It touches on relationships around us whether its friendships, family members, co-workers, romance etc. All of the characters are interconnected somehow and you watch them go through trails and celebrations that happen in relationships.

What was interesting is how realistic the characters acted. they did things you do when you are hurt or angry or anxious and it didnt look contrived like a lot of hollywood movies do.

I could relate to just about each relationship in the movie ( except two or three but if i say it ruins parts of the movie)

The movie put a lot of perspective to me how some relationships in my life have played out, started, ended etc and it kinda makes you smile when you think back on them, no matter how they ended up...

one of my particular favorites was the little boy's crush...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi6BrI8Jx3w&feature=related

I'm a firm believer in everyone is brought into our lives for a reason, even if that is to teach or something or for us to hurt. Because with hurt there is always healing and a lesson learned and usually a new strength formed from it...

Go watch this movie except dont watch it with little kids or your parents cus well there are some funny and awkward nudie scenes that could be uncomfortable. haha

What I learned/realized this weekend...
I learned too much probably.... haha

1) i learned its great to have friends to share good and hard times with. My weekend with Morgan was so relaxed and carefree and yet we had some great talks about life, love, family, future etc. We've both had some losses over the years. Morgan lost her mom a year ago and what a wonderful person she was. I was blessed with knowing her throughout Morgan and I's friendship and saw their special relationship. I learned how special it is to see someone else;s relationship over the years as well as be there for them within your own relationship

2) love...romantic or not is a powerful thing. even infactuation is a powerful thing. we cant control it. the people we love we hold such high places in our hearts and have such an effect over the choices and decisions we make. Justin obviously had lots of people who loved and cared about him. its amazing to me to see support like he had. its like when you wonder to youself " when i die who will care? who will come to my funeral? how will i be remembered?"

Justin hopefully will get to see one day as he recovers just who does love him, how much and how he will be remembered. Now its sad that sometimes it takes tragedy to see or experience that. its quite remarkable.

3) there are so many people we meet in our lives that effect us or touch us in some way. i wish i could have the courage to tell several people in my life just what an impact they made. shoot i wish i had the courage to tell someone recently just how special and beautiful they made me feel and just how badly i needed that at the moment.

or others how they made me realize other strengths and weeaknesses of mine or not to take life too seriously or for granted...

4) i could probably go on about other little things i learned but lastly as morgan and i were driving down the highway with the windows down, sun in our face and screaming the words to "Dont stop.. believin.... hold on to that feelin...." That life is great!

Cheap Guys and date excuses

Ok so nothing in the recent has inspired this.... just a conversation with a coworker of mine sparked my desire to want to write this. One day I will write a book on the crazy dates I have had. the sad part is... i really have enough material for a best seller. The pediatrist obessesed with me is enough for a lifetime movie shoot!

Anyways so the girl i sit next to at work and i are always being silly and saying dumb excuses we would just love to give a guy for why we cant see them that night...

Like:
"Sorry i have to wash my hair"
"I have to relace my shoes"

and if you really wanted to get rid of them "I have to wax my back" BAHAHAHAHA

I had this guy in college who tried to take me out almost everyday. Mind you I had 3 jobs, a hectic school schedule and still tried to maintain some sort of social life ( i basically didnt sleep) and he said to me one day, " Gosh when are you not going to be so busy?"

I desperately wanted to respond, " um for you i will probably be busy the rest of my life...sorry!"
So our silly excuses (trust me we have lots more) brought up a conversation about how some boys/men have NO CLUE... either that or they are just retarded and/or cheap.....

I'm not gonna get specific cus you never know who might read this and while I am a blunt and honest person i dont want to hurt anyone's feelings.

So pet peeve of mine... guy invites you to dinner and a movie. Cool, fun times.... However, you get to dinner and its a sandwich place, think subway, wich wich etc... That sort of thing is fine with me. I love a good sandwich and i'm not high maintenance. However, dont invite me somewhere cheap and then you be cheap in the end. I am not the girl who orders food and then steps to the side and just waits for you to order and to pay. I can pay for my own stuff so after i order i am gonna take out my card to at least offer. To me, a polite gentlemen who invited me on a date would kindly say, " oh dont worry about it em i got it. i invited you"
Sadly enough this was not the case with a few guys i have encountered. Not even on a $3 whatachicken sandwich.
now if money was tight i understand, thats cool, however, when you know that money is not tight for that person.... you end up looking like a cheap jackass with no chivalry whatso ever.

It even extends beyond cheap food.... i wish i could be heartless and just tell specific incidences that would probably make most of you laugh and some of you cry cus you're THAT GUY!!!!

So boys... if you invite a girl out, no matter how cheap or how expensive. If you expect to go Dutch just say something. I'd like to think Chivalry is not dead however cheapo's like you are making it hard to believe in that dream.

I know a good deal when I see one!!!!

Anyone who knows me well knows I love a bargain... I hate paying full price for ANYTHING....


I love thrift stores. Ross and Marshalls make me happy. Craigslist is AWESOME and Sale signs at designer stores are the only way I will buy something from them etc...



Anyways, I started using this thing called Groupon. I have emailed it to just about everyone in my contact list if there is something good goin on. Each Day Groupon sends you an amazing deal. It could be $15 for $35 worth of food at a restaurant, or $50 for $100 worth of spa treatments at a spa. they have services like oil changes, sailing lessons, theater tickets.... its Great!!!!!



I recommend everyone join!!!



you can by going here: http://www.groupon.com/r/uu215352

Secondly, if you love to shop but hate digging through racks or going to a billion stores or spending all your cash. Try this website... Shop it to me

http://www.shopittome.com/?refID=salemail

It lets you choose the brands/stores and size and you can select how often they email you about sales... whether its daily, weekly etc...

The Man downstairs... hooker or not?

Sometimes I feel that the guy below me could have his own TV show or his own blog about whatever shenanigans he gets into. Now I hate to make assumptions about someone but he makes it soooooooooooooooooo hard not too....

Anyways, my downstairs neighbor is a nice looking gay man, mid thirties I would assume, very friendly, flambouyant, always smiling and actually downright hilarious.... He has the funniest way of describing things its ridiculous.

Well he is supposidly an interior designer who works on his own and if you saw through his windows or was ever in his apt you would see his apt is like a replica of Versailles. Gold leafed everything and he's got crazy chandaliers and huge antiques. he's wallpapers and painted and gold leafed EVERYTHING. so for you guys who have been in my apartment... imagine it with red black and gold with lots of bling..... Super Guady

Anyways, the weird thing about him his is amount and timing of guests. My next door neighbor and I are always like what is going on down there. Now a few times I have heard a few things and had to turn my music up cus I am just like bleh don't want to hear that. This guy has over tons and tons of men.... at the weirdest of hours. Sometimes they are alone and sometimes they come in 2's and 3's. Sometimes I come home to find them sitting on our front porch waiting for him to come home. They dont have a car nearby and alot of times they have a backpack and are just chillin... waiting.

There was a particular incidence where he had these 2 guys in a white truck stay for several days and the weird thing about it was they would both go in the apartment and at night one of them would sleep in the truck. they kept coming in and out of the house for the guy in the truck to get a computer. So bizzare....

So i 've seen probably 20 different guys in and out of there in the year and a half i have lived there... maybe more and it makes me wonder if this guy is like a gay escort.....( which is funny cus i had a similar suspicion of my former neighbor in san antonio.... I have a facebook note about that... I'll post it at the end of this)

So yesterday I come home and I am headed out to Yoga and I went to take my puppy outside before I left. Well as i come down the stairs i hear the doorbell to his apartment go off as I open the door to the front of our house. Well there stands the dude who had been waiting on our porch the day before with a backpack and my neighbor says, " ohhh heeyyy!! I wasnt expecting you today... my client is here"

So they walk.... wait let me back up........

When i came home yesterday I opened the front door to the house and the whole building reaked of cheap mens cologne. I thought i was gonna vomit. It date rape has a smell that was it and I was like "dear god if my dog is dead from this smell when i get upstairs I know who I am going after....."

I digress... So they walk back inside and I'm just enjoying the outside with my dog when all of a sudden backpack boy comes running outside. 5 seconds later my neighbor comes out of the house yelling, " JD!! JD!! JD!!! Come back!!!" and then looks at me and is like, "Where did he go?!?!"

I was like, " he just ran down the street"

So my neighbor kind of frolics across the street yelling his name and then I guess realizes its not worth it and goes back inside. I left for Yoga about 10 minutes later so if there was a climatic ending to the story.... I missed it. Darn

Anyways, Hookers do exsit believe it or not... They kind of seem like a urban myth to me but THEY DO EXIST ALL AROUND US........

if you want proof... read my story from this January about my real encounter with a hooker

(copied from my facebook)
Hookers upstairs, next door... ahh hookers everywhere

Last night the craziest, funniest and most unlikely comversation was overheard last night, which i'll get too, but a little background story makes it even funnier.

In college i lived in a really nice apartment complex in San Antonio. During my four years there i lived in the same apartment and had various neighbors come and go. At one point my neighbor upstairs had me convinced she was a hooker. She was in her mid 30's. Decent looking ( she wore way to much make up and looked like she had been used over and over and over again), nice body, fake boobs, and a really n ice car. When she moved in she had a nice Acura, and quickly was driving a brand new Infiniti G35.

ANYWAYS... i noticed that she was always home during work hours and at night she made a ridiculous amount of noise. i would hear her stumble up and down the stairs at various times at night and in the morning because she was wasted. i watched her fall out of her car a few times she was so drunk. a few times she stumbled down the stairs early in the morning dressed like she was going somewhere to work but her glazed eyes said maybe she just had the munchies.

I started to think she was a hooker because every time she came home or was with someone it was a different guy. She was always home during the day so i figured hell this woman does not look like the brightest crayon in the box... i guess she has to work with what shes got. On top of that pretty regularly at the same time at night i would hear her having sex. it didn't help that i had a loft bed so my ear was pretty close to the ceiling. anyways, i did not just hear her get it on, it was the same thing EVERYTIME, like it was rehearsed or something.

A few times she made so much noise with her techno music or surround sound at 5:00am, 6:30am that i would have to go up there and ask her to turn it down and some random man would answer the door and say he is sorry all awhile she is running around in the background drunk as a skunk.

i came home from work one day to see an old man with hardly any teeth go to her door with flowers. i waited at my door to see if the old man would come down or go inside. he came down immediately, so at least her standards weren't that low.

One day she moved away to Austin. I really hope she wasnt a hooker... or a slut... maybe she is just a social drunk... lol right

SOOOOOO last night my boyfriend and i were watching a movie in my living room and he got up to go rinse off his dinner plate in the kitchen. he was gone awhile and i noticed he was pretty quiet that my curiousity was wondering what the heck he was doing. Right about the time i was gonna call his name he came in the living room and said,

Chris: babe did you hear that?

Emily: heat what?

Chris: seriously you did not hear that?

Emily: no i dont know what you are talking about

Chris: there is a hooker at the back door next door

Emily: no way!

So we both run into the kitchen and sit at my back door and listen to this girl talk on her cellphone to her friend Shelia ( i think... it was some s name). Well she is complaining how at "Vivan's house" these girls didnt like her and they spread rumors about her. But she is concerned about diseases and refuses to ride bare back like they do ( omq!!!!!!). This is just part of what we heard.

"well they are just jealous of me. once i get more reviews on that site i can charge more. i really feel like i am getting jipped here. I get paid $300 for that. Steve Allen ( I cant remember the names she said i am just making them up) has no problem seeing me for 300. bob white has no problem, hank thomas loves to see me for 300.... yeah well if i left him do this for that price now then he is always gonna want that price. I do the sensual massage ( yeah we know what that means) for $180 and the lollipop for $200 ( k i threw up in my mouth here). " She babbles a bit and then says, "well a put my ad out today on craigslist... i'm so desperate for money i have other ads for me to vaccuum houses. One guy wants to pay me $600 to film a ( i forgot what dirty word she used) video and i am thinking about doing it. I won't do that GFE sh*t ( whats that mean?) I keep getting asked but hell no............"

Omg she went on and on and on in more detail about what she did at "vivians house" and how these girls dont like her and how she has clients that love her and how much she charges. we turned the movie off... it was more entertaining listening to her. How she didnt hear me almost lose it laughing is beyond me. I'm just glad the sleasly guy next door is moving out!!!!!

Just funny how I went from thinking a hooker lived upstairs to one hanging out with the guy next door. THEY"RE everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

celebrity outlandishness... I mean retardedness

I posted this to my facebook yesterday and I felt like extending my opinion cus I think its THAT ridiculous.....

So a few days ago i was getting ready for work and they were talking about Khloe Kardashians prenup agreement ( cus thats our business right?)

Well first off this whole reality star thing has gotten out of control. I used to like their show but now they are just above and beyond retarded. So anyways, I found the details of her agreement to be interesting... and I may have forgotten some of them but it was something like this


1) either 200,000 or 500,000 for each year they were married ( i cant remember the number my bad)
2) 20,000 a month in spousal support ( ok maybe they have an expensive mortage etc....)
3) Their house ( ok so much for the mortage payment since he is paying for it)
4) a new car everytime her lease is up
5) 5,000 a month for shopping ( omg wtf is the 20,000 for???)
6) 1,000 a month for her beauty regime ( ok really???)


Ummmm??? hmmm shoot i'll settle for the 6k a month and just travel and do my own thing . i'm not an expensive shopper nor am i high maintenance. i dont spend 1000 a year on my beauty regime. hahah now if only i could find that 6k a month on top of everything else i make on my own.maybe i'm just hating but seriously???? why do people get so ridonkulous with how much they "deserve" . Granted if he cheats on her... all power too you sweetie get it! I just think this ads to the lazy wife/ex wife syndrome that hollywood seems to be promotiing these days....make your own money... do something besides shopping GEEZ!

Bikram Yoga

So I tried Bikram Yoga for the first time this week...

Not gonna lie, totally skeptical at first. In fact I've seen studios around for years and I thought to myself " what person in their right mind would want to do that? I mean shoot, its hot and sticky and probably some people who shouldn't wear skimpy clothes doing so"

Not my desire what so ever!!!

Well an old friend mentioned he did it and really liked it so I thought, "OK, I'll try anything once. if it doesn't kill me it will make me stronger!"

So Tuesday I drank water all day long. I was super paranoid I would faint or pass out as i don't like sticky hot places. So I went and let me tell you that as soon as I walked in that hot room I just about turned around and walked out. It was ridiculous!!!!!

My friend had told me that you get acclimated to the heat within five minutes and my first instinct was to deck him and rub a sweaty towel in his face for putting me up to this but I figured shoot he does this several times a week, there must be some method to his madness.

So I laid there and stretched for a few minutes and waited for the instructor to come in and start the class. You have to be quiet in the room before, during and after the class which was weird for me as i am a chatty Cathy. I wanted to be like "psstt guian how was your day... dude its hot in here.... are you sure about this?" Instead i laid there quiet and starred at the ceiling. it reminded me of a few fights i got into with an ex of mine. where you're laying there next to them but no one says a word and you just stare at the ceiling like ok what now....

So as i am laying there i am like wow i am used to the heat and omg i am not sweating....

Well the instructor comes in and we get started. she's super sweet and energetic and encouraging to it being my first time. I'm not sure what to expect so I just smile and get started. within the first stretch the sweat started to drip...

Throughout the 90 minutes I flexed and bended in ways I didn't know I could. I mean I knew I could when I was 17 and in dance class and could kick my forehead with my shin, but I'm not as flexible anymore. Some of the poses made me think "who comes up with this?" It was great though. I sweated bullets. I sweat in places I didn't know had pores. I thought 90 minutes would drag but it went by really quick. some of the poses were hard but some of them reminded me of dance class and I just had to get myself back into that mentality of thinking.

When it was over I felt so great. I have a great metaphor for how it made me feel but i am just gonna keep that to myself. haha further inquiries might be lucky enough to hear it. its just long and i don't feel like typing it.

So I went back yesterday for a second dose. One cus I loved it and 2 cus I had a free class i needed to use.

Loved it just as much. Different instructor who was very helpful and insightful. He even stepped on your feet and messaged them a little bit in different poses which was AWESOME. only complaint... He was a hair old guy without a shirt and I think it should be mandated that if your old and you are hairy and gonna go shirtless that you do something about the hair... just sayin

So today I am a bit sore, but its a good sore. I feel like i got a great stretch and feel super loose and limber. I love it.

Try it out. You will feel great afterwards!!!

Here are the poses.... http://www.bikramyoga.com/Yoga/26Postures.htm

oh and I tried this after and it was super delicious http://www.zico.com/