So in thinking about happiness and how many unhappy people I know, I thought i would post this article as some encouragement. Well actually, i was putting together my workouts and my inspiration/ideas book ( havent touched it in FOREVER) and going through some old fitness magazines I found an article on happiness. I've meant to bring it to work with me to write about it so i googled it and well its so old its not on the net but i found something similar. I'll post the other article as part 2. Anyways,
Shape magazine did this article. I've bolded the key parts i like:
You don’t have to win the lottery or meet your soul mate. You simply have to make a few small changes to the way you approach your day…
Though we all know what happiness is, achieving it remains a mystery to most of us. At best it’s elusive, a joyful state that crops up when the circumstances are right. But the latest research shows that happiness is right at your fingertips. You can strengthen and develop it, much like a muscle, until you can summon it anytime — even if your personality generally tends towards a glass-half-empty outlook. “Research shows that our ability to experience happiness is 50 percent influenced by genetics, 10 percent by events, and 40 percent by intention,” says Prof Dan Baker, director of a US-based life enhancement programme. “It’s a side effect of living purposefully, standing up for what you believe in, and developing your full potential.” In doing this, you can elevate not only your state of mind, but your health too. Fortunately, one of the easiest ways to achieve happiness is to break free of daily stressors and focus on the little things in life that bring you joy. To make it even easier for you, we’ve put together 10 simple steps to follow…
PLAY UP YOUR STRENGTHS
“Focus on your assets rather than trying to compensate for your weaknesses,” says MJ Ryan, author of 365 Health and Happiness Boosters (Conari). If you’re not sure where your talents lie, pay attention to the compliments you receive. Also, get comfortable discussing the expertise you do have. If you have a flair for technology and your boss needs help putting together a PowerPoint presentation, speak up! Showing confidence — and backing it up with action — allows others to see you in your best light, which creates a positive cycle, says Prof Baker.
The more you talk about your strong points, the more real they become, the better you feel, and the more likely you are to continue putting your best foot forward. “Ask a close friend for feedback on what your strengths are and then brainstorm ways to enhance these,” suggests Cape Town psychologist Janine Taylor.
▶ Keep a diary of at least one thing to do each day that boosts your strong points.
▶ Do a good deed. Being kind to others promotes self-esteem.
▶ Keep positive words nearby: on your fridge, stick Post-its on your mirror, your computer screen and car dashboard. This will keep you optimistic and ensure a healthier frame of mind. Repeat these words to yourself throughout the day as a means of encouragement (it’s probably best to do so quietly lest your colleagues think you’re loopy!)
SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE
Money doesn’t buy happiness. In fact, extra cash not only often fails to bring joy after basic needs are met, it can actually prevent it. “People who say making a lot of money is important to them are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and headaches — and less likely to report being satisfied with their lives,” says Tim Kasser, author of The High Price of Materialism (Bradford). According to Kasser’s research, time affluence — feeling you have enough time to pursue the things you want to — is a better predictor of a satisfied life than income. To avoid thinking about material possessions, meet a friend for tea at an outdoor café rather than at the mall. And if that rush you get from buying a new pair of shoes intervenes, remember that this pleasure is momentary, and will disappear once you’ve worn the shoes a few times. “To achieve lasting contentment, you need to focus on experiences, not things,” says Kasser.
GET A HOBBY
You love painting, scrapbooking or digging in your herb garden, but you have difficulty fitting creative time into your packed schedule. Consider this: “Creativity helps people adapt to life by making them more flexible and open to experiences,” says psychology professor Dean Keith Simonton. “This, in turn, fosters satisfaction and self-esteem.” Since the benefits come from the process rather than the product, you don’t have to paint like Picasso to feel the effect. If a drawing class seems too ambitious, add an “openness hour” to your day several times a week, suggests Simonton, and during that time, try something that sparks your curiosity; perhaps cooking a new recipe or reading poetry. Another way to broaden your horizons is to change your routine. Try a different restaurant or take in a concert rather than a movie. Break from the daily grind and watch as your mind expands — and your happiness level rises.
ACCEPT THAT SOME PEOPLE WON'T LIKE YOU
No, it’s not easy to cope with the idea that the colleague who sits opposite can’t seem to warm to you. But if you continue to fret over it, it’ll bring you down — and it won’t change her opinion. While friendship buffers stress, negative relationships can pose real roadblocks to happiness. “If you take everyone’s judgment to heart, you surrender your own ability to view yourself clearly,” says Baker. Next time you find yourself thinking about your office nemesis or worrying over a comment made against you, pause for a moment and recall the last compliment you received from someone you trust. Remind yourself that he or she has a good sense of your character. Then think of the things you’ve accomplished that mirror that compliment. This simple act will turn you into your own biggest ally and make you feel powerful and in control.
DECIDE, AND THEN MOVE ON
Less is truly more when it comes to choices. Too many options can paralyse you, prompt you to make a poor decision, or leave you second-guessing yourself. A recent study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that the fewer shops people went to, the easier it was for them to make decisions — and the more content they felt. “When we think there’s a more attractive alternative out there, even our good decisions leave us unsatisfied,” says Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice (Ecco). “People who continually seek out the best of everything — be it a job, a mate, or a laptop — are more stressed and less fulfilled.” To reduce anxiety, don’t revisit a decision once it’s made. “Say to yourself that good enough is good enough,” suggests Schwartz. “Keep repeating the mantra until you believe it. At first it will be unsettling, but after a few weeks, you’ll feel liberated.” Finally, arbitrarily limit your options — whether you’re searching for a soul mate or a sole mate. “Make a rule: Three online profiles and I pick, or two shops and I decide.”
SILENCE TOXIC SELF-TALK
When your boss asked you a question at the meeting this morning and you mangled your answer, did you replay the scene in your mind for the rest of the day? If so, you probably have a habit of ruminating on your shortcomings — as do most women, says Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, author of Women Who Think Too Much (Henry Holt & Co). “My research shows that thinking about your mistakes obsessively drags you down and gives you a negative disposition. One problem leads to another and then another, and all of a sudden it seems as if your whole life is a mess,” says Nolen-Hoeksema. “Over time, this pattern makes you vulnerable to depression.” But it’s easier than it seems to break the cycle. Do something active and you’ll be forced to refocus: go for a run, or clean out those cupboards you’ve been neglecting. After you’ve cleared your mind, take a small step towards easing your concern, rather than dwelling on it. Still thinking about your morning mess-up at the office? Why not send a short e-mail to your boss with a correction. Worried about a rattle in your car or the state of your savings account? Make an appointment with a mechanic or a financial advisor. Just one small action can pop the bubble of worry surrounding you.
WIDEN YOUR CIRCLE OF FRIENDS
“Relationships with close friends are one of the best vehicles to happiness,” says Ryan. “These bonds give us a sense of purpose and come with just as many emotional benefits as a romantic partner does.” Additionally, research shows that friends keep us healthy, reduce anxiety, and even foster longevity. In fact, friendships are so critical to a woman’s wellbeing that the opposite of friendship — social isolation — has been found to be as damaging to one’s health as heavy smoking, says the Harvard Medical School’s Nurses’ Health Study. To make the most of your ties to others, put the same energy into your relationships with your friends as you would into a relationship with a significant other. Be enthusiastic, set aside time for special activities together, and keep each other updated on your daily lives. Your reward? Your pals will do the same for you, which will create feelings of support, belonging, and gratification.
ACCENTUATE THE GOOD
There’s a reason people tell you to stop and smell the roses: it’s not just the flower’s perfume that makes life better, but also the appreciation of it. “Gratitude is the cornerstone of happiness. It’s all about noticing what’s right in our lives instead of what’s wrong,” says Ryan. In a study from the Universities of Miami and California, people who were instructed to keep gratitude journals, recording every instance in which they were thankful, reported higher levels of enthusiasm, optimism, and energy than those who did not keep these diaries. The lesson? “Don’t wait for something big to happen to you to feel happy,” says Ryan. “Make yourself happy by noticing the good that’s already there.” Start a simple ritual. Write a phrase like “Be grateful” on a piece of paper and put it in your pocket or any other place you’ll notice it. Each time you touch or see the note, name one thing you appreciate. Before you know it, gratitude — and daily bliss — will become automatic.
MOVE IT!
Although it’s been proven time and again that working out lifts your mood, builds muscle, boosts metabolism, and improves sleep quality, we often let our exercise time slide. If a tight schedule is keeping you from lacing up your running shoes, keep this in mind: a study from Northern Arizona University in the US found that energy levels, fatigue, and mood improved after just 10 minutes of moderate exercise. After 20 minutes, the effects were even greater. Regular exercise is definitely a mood-booster and research has shown it to be as effective in treating mild depression as anti-depressant medication. “There is also a clear correlation between a healthy self-esteem and high levels of self-efficacy (a belief in your ability to do something successfully), and coping with high levels of stress. If you are exercising regularly, you are more likely to feel good about yourself,” says Kathy Mc Quaide, sports scientist and health promotions manager at the Sports Science Institute of SA. In addition, exercise provides a socially acceptable outlet for anger and hostility. “Repression of anger is definitely associated with certain disease states. In fact, depression is sometimes described as anger turned inwards,” she says.If loneliness is what’s making you miserable, exercise creates the perfect opportunity to make new friends: join a running club, sign up for yoga classes, take tennis lessons. If peace and quiet is what you need, exercise time is also a good time for solitude and reflection. An early morning run alone, a mountain bike ride through a forest at the weekend… “Exercise provides an opportunity for mastering new skills and realising different goals that are unrelated to current stressors. Focusing on something that is enjoyable and brings about such positive effects on one’s health, can be refreshing and invigorating,” says Mc Quaide. “Our SSISA Healthy Weight Programme subjects those who sign up for the eight-week programme to a questionnaire POMS (profile of moods states) at the beginning and end. Almost without fail, the fatigue and anger indices drop and the vigour and vitality scores increase after the eight week period,” Mc Quaide says.Worried you don’t have the time to exercise? Walk the stairs to your office rather than taking the lift; get yourself off the sofa and into the park at weekends, throwing Frisbee with your kids; get up half an hour earlier and take a fast walk or a jog around the block; leave your desk at lunchtime and take a stroll around the city; abandon the TV and exercise with the family; meet with your girlfriends for a walk rather than a glass of wine. Bonus: your interactions with others will increase, which will give your mood a double boost.
MATCH YOUR INTENTIONS TO YOUR ACTIONS
You have goals, both big and small; you make to-do lists and set priorities. So why don’t you feel fulfilled? “We find happiness when we derive pleasure as well as meaning from what we do,” says Tal Ben-Shahar, a lecturer in positive psychology at Harvard. In other words, you may say family comes first, but if you work 14-hour days, you’re creating an internal conflict that chips away at your chances of happiness. When researchers from the University of Georgia examined the lives of people who reached 100, they found one of the most common things the centenarians shared was a sense of purpose they continued to pursue. If you work long hours but want to spend more time at home, start by leaving the office 15 minutes earlier each day until you’re there for just eight hours. And instead of saving all your leave days for one trip, set a few aside for your kids’ school events or for spending an afternoon with your partner.
