The Man downstairs... hooker or not?

Sometimes I feel that the guy below me could have his own TV show or his own blog about whatever shenanigans he gets into. Now I hate to make assumptions about someone but he makes it soooooooooooooooooo hard not too....

Anyways, my downstairs neighbor is a nice looking gay man, mid thirties I would assume, very friendly, flambouyant, always smiling and actually downright hilarious.... He has the funniest way of describing things its ridiculous.

Well he is supposidly an interior designer who works on his own and if you saw through his windows or was ever in his apt you would see his apt is like a replica of Versailles. Gold leafed everything and he's got crazy chandaliers and huge antiques. he's wallpapers and painted and gold leafed EVERYTHING. so for you guys who have been in my apartment... imagine it with red black and gold with lots of bling..... Super Guady

Anyways, the weird thing about him his is amount and timing of guests. My next door neighbor and I are always like what is going on down there. Now a few times I have heard a few things and had to turn my music up cus I am just like bleh don't want to hear that. This guy has over tons and tons of men.... at the weirdest of hours. Sometimes they are alone and sometimes they come in 2's and 3's. Sometimes I come home to find them sitting on our front porch waiting for him to come home. They dont have a car nearby and alot of times they have a backpack and are just chillin... waiting.

There was a particular incidence where he had these 2 guys in a white truck stay for several days and the weird thing about it was they would both go in the apartment and at night one of them would sleep in the truck. they kept coming in and out of the house for the guy in the truck to get a computer. So bizzare....

So i 've seen probably 20 different guys in and out of there in the year and a half i have lived there... maybe more and it makes me wonder if this guy is like a gay escort.....( which is funny cus i had a similar suspicion of my former neighbor in san antonio.... I have a facebook note about that... I'll post it at the end of this)

So yesterday I come home and I am headed out to Yoga and I went to take my puppy outside before I left. Well as i come down the stairs i hear the doorbell to his apartment go off as I open the door to the front of our house. Well there stands the dude who had been waiting on our porch the day before with a backpack and my neighbor says, " ohhh heeyyy!! I wasnt expecting you today... my client is here"

So they walk.... wait let me back up........

When i came home yesterday I opened the front door to the house and the whole building reaked of cheap mens cologne. I thought i was gonna vomit. It date rape has a smell that was it and I was like "dear god if my dog is dead from this smell when i get upstairs I know who I am going after....."

I digress... So they walk back inside and I'm just enjoying the outside with my dog when all of a sudden backpack boy comes running outside. 5 seconds later my neighbor comes out of the house yelling, " JD!! JD!! JD!!! Come back!!!" and then looks at me and is like, "Where did he go?!?!"

I was like, " he just ran down the street"

So my neighbor kind of frolics across the street yelling his name and then I guess realizes its not worth it and goes back inside. I left for Yoga about 10 minutes later so if there was a climatic ending to the story.... I missed it. Darn

Anyways, Hookers do exsit believe it or not... They kind of seem like a urban myth to me but THEY DO EXIST ALL AROUND US........

if you want proof... read my story from this January about my real encounter with a hooker

(copied from my facebook)
Hookers upstairs, next door... ahh hookers everywhere

Last night the craziest, funniest and most unlikely comversation was overheard last night, which i'll get too, but a little background story makes it even funnier.

In college i lived in a really nice apartment complex in San Antonio. During my four years there i lived in the same apartment and had various neighbors come and go. At one point my neighbor upstairs had me convinced she was a hooker. She was in her mid 30's. Decent looking ( she wore way to much make up and looked like she had been used over and over and over again), nice body, fake boobs, and a really n ice car. When she moved in she had a nice Acura, and quickly was driving a brand new Infiniti G35.

ANYWAYS... i noticed that she was always home during work hours and at night she made a ridiculous amount of noise. i would hear her stumble up and down the stairs at various times at night and in the morning because she was wasted. i watched her fall out of her car a few times she was so drunk. a few times she stumbled down the stairs early in the morning dressed like she was going somewhere to work but her glazed eyes said maybe she just had the munchies.

I started to think she was a hooker because every time she came home or was with someone it was a different guy. She was always home during the day so i figured hell this woman does not look like the brightest crayon in the box... i guess she has to work with what shes got. On top of that pretty regularly at the same time at night i would hear her having sex. it didn't help that i had a loft bed so my ear was pretty close to the ceiling. anyways, i did not just hear her get it on, it was the same thing EVERYTIME, like it was rehearsed or something.

A few times she made so much noise with her techno music or surround sound at 5:00am, 6:30am that i would have to go up there and ask her to turn it down and some random man would answer the door and say he is sorry all awhile she is running around in the background drunk as a skunk.

i came home from work one day to see an old man with hardly any teeth go to her door with flowers. i waited at my door to see if the old man would come down or go inside. he came down immediately, so at least her standards weren't that low.

One day she moved away to Austin. I really hope she wasnt a hooker... or a slut... maybe she is just a social drunk... lol right

SOOOOOO last night my boyfriend and i were watching a movie in my living room and he got up to go rinse off his dinner plate in the kitchen. he was gone awhile and i noticed he was pretty quiet that my curiousity was wondering what the heck he was doing. Right about the time i was gonna call his name he came in the living room and said,

Chris: babe did you hear that?

Emily: heat what?

Chris: seriously you did not hear that?

Emily: no i dont know what you are talking about

Chris: there is a hooker at the back door next door

Emily: no way!

So we both run into the kitchen and sit at my back door and listen to this girl talk on her cellphone to her friend Shelia ( i think... it was some s name). Well she is complaining how at "Vivan's house" these girls didnt like her and they spread rumors about her. But she is concerned about diseases and refuses to ride bare back like they do ( omq!!!!!!). This is just part of what we heard.

"well they are just jealous of me. once i get more reviews on that site i can charge more. i really feel like i am getting jipped here. I get paid $300 for that. Steve Allen ( I cant remember the names she said i am just making them up) has no problem seeing me for 300. bob white has no problem, hank thomas loves to see me for 300.... yeah well if i left him do this for that price now then he is always gonna want that price. I do the sensual massage ( yeah we know what that means) for $180 and the lollipop for $200 ( k i threw up in my mouth here). " She babbles a bit and then says, "well a put my ad out today on craigslist... i'm so desperate for money i have other ads for me to vaccuum houses. One guy wants to pay me $600 to film a ( i forgot what dirty word she used) video and i am thinking about doing it. I won't do that GFE sh*t ( whats that mean?) I keep getting asked but hell no............"

Omg she went on and on and on in more detail about what she did at "vivians house" and how these girls dont like her and how she has clients that love her and how much she charges. we turned the movie off... it was more entertaining listening to her. How she didnt hear me almost lose it laughing is beyond me. I'm just glad the sleasly guy next door is moving out!!!!!

Just funny how I went from thinking a hooker lived upstairs to one hanging out with the guy next door. THEY"RE everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!