Vanity.... dilemna solved

Vanity... its a issue that everyone deals with
Some people are more vain than others and some people's appearance and how others perceive them is more important to them than what it may be to someone else.....

Lately i have had a few conversations with friends about my own vanity. I'm at a point in my life where i am really happy with who i am, inwardly, outwardly, spiritually, etc.... however there is always that struggle for something more.

I've joked with a few friends and said "what should my next big selfish purchase be? A bike (motorcycle), a boat, or new boobs?"
Like i said they are all selfish purchases, but for the majority of things we buy ourselves they are selfish... right?

I'd talked to my mom and even a few friends ( guy friends included) about the fact that i had seriously been considering a boob job. I knew my dad would not be happy and that bothered me but the part that bothered me the most was that i would be doing it for pure vanity.....

My chest used to be really big. it was commented on ALL the time and yeah there were times it was annoying when guys would stare at your chest instead of your face but as a woman there is so much pressure to be this curvy, vivacious vixen in a way and after loosing a ton of weight and two cup sizes it felt weird not having these giant things on my chest. Like i said, it felt different and while i am happy with myself i wondered what i would be like to feel transformed but have the girls back again......

sometimes it sucks being a girl because with things like our chest size and a society so focused on appearance its easy for others to compare because they are out there to the world. Now guys we know that you all compare yourselves based on size ( which is so silly) but think about it, if you suddenly shrunk no one but who you show would know cus its concealed to the world. Unfortunately us girls cant conceal things like that as easily.... granted a good bra can help but its not the same.....

So i struggled with the idea of getting it done or not. should i do it just because i miss them and take the risk that they could get messed up when i was already happy and then regret being so superficial.... it was tough.

I knew that on my small frame they would look good but i have heard so many stories of complications and bad healing and even celebrities have gotten jacked up that was/is it really worth it??? did i really want people looking at me and thinking " wow she's fake...."

I've always prided myself in not pretending to me someone i'm not so what would that mean if i pumped my chest full of silicone? i would feel like a hypocrite...

So on my way home from Atlanta i was reading the December issue of Cosmo... i know i know
Well i never thought i would say i learned something or walked away with something thoughtful from Cosmo....but i did. I've tried to find the article online but i cant. Anyways, i read an article entitled "Why I got rid of my fake boobs"

This girl had implants done and all of a sudden was noticed and started modeling and acting and when she never got any part that didnt involve her boobs and where she wasnt speaking she realized that no one noticed her for her but for what was under her chest. She had them removed and had complications and now her chest is messed up..... she is upset because she was happy before. I felt like i was reading what COULD be my life and when i finished the article i said a quick prayer..... Message received Lord.

So for now my vanity dilemna involving my chest is solved.... my other selfish purchases will have to wait and probably never happen.... lol